I Am so Breakable Now

My love, I couldn’t possibly break your heart.
My hands couldn’t possibly bear to start –
they are so breakable now.

Should I say he’s better off without me?

I’ve exhausted them in trying to learn how –
through more error than trial –
to mend the scattered parts of my own.

Should I say he’s better off without me?

Its good health – stolen, right from underneath
my knowing it – cut at the tethering.

Those I have trusted have been breaking and entering
while, for trust in them, I’ve been waiting and waiting,
yet still trying to trust in myself, in my own compensating.
Meanwhile, severing my ties.

Should I say he’s better off without me?

I’ve broken my fingers in fury.
I’ve shattered my fists in rampages and fits.
I’ve consigned myself to hurt alone.

And what shall I say of my heart?

My love, look me in the eyes.
How could I possibly break your heart?
How could I possibly bear to start?
Look at how they cry; I am so breakable now.

You’re better off without me.

Published by

Asha Gowan

I am an aspiring poet, novelist, musician, visual artist, and a die hard jazz enthusiast (partial to writing). I did not have a choice in the matter as both of my parents are creative to the core. Van Gogh beautifully painted the artist's portrait with his words: "The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others." I've made that ideal the primary catalyst for my work. Born as one of nature's esthetes, beauty is the goal of every song, every poem, every piece of art. Beauty that will touch the hearts and minds of others. I try to design my art to be healing and empathetic. I study and find intriguing people of all kinds, which informs a lot of my insights. I've drawn inspiration on the art of positivity, of spiritual uplifting from writers like Throeau, John Muir, Ohiyesa (Charles Eastman), the psalmist David, etc. Seeking a unique verve in my style, I make thorough investigations of all sorts of art and challenge myself to the hilt for the growth of my ingenuity. I am eager to share my musings with everyone here and wish to disseminate them. Thank you!

One thought on “I Am so Breakable Now”

  1. This is a great poem. You of course, should try to get your love’s opinion about whether he/she is better off without you. Why? because you may find that your hardships are very easily solved as part of a team, on one hand, and that if he/she sees this poem maybe you will find out that he/she could never live without you and that today’s problem(s) are easily solved as a team. It just an experiential guess, but I figure if someone loves you they will help you to NOT break their heart.

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